I usually really look forward to weddings. Free food. Good cake. Pretty dresses. And the comedy drunk relative who offends the bride. What’s not to love? But I’m dreading the one I’m going to next weekend.
I was supposed to be there with my Ex. But I’m assuming he’s not coming with me now….. Although maybe I should text him just to make sure….? Anyhoo, I’ve conscientiously let the bride know that he ripped my heart out with a spoon. And she’s graciously given me till Saturday to find a new plus one, or I will be moved to the ‘single table’.
Ok so I’m just about capable of not getting sacked from work at present. Just. The thought of flirting up a storm to find some random fella to take to the wedding, is not only mortifying but also a smidge unlikely. I have enquired among my male friends to see if they would be prepared to be a gentlemanly escort, but there’s football on Saturday. And apparently men don’t like weddings as much as girls. Who knew?
Now, the single table…..Even my interest was piqued by that. Until I found out that the average age on the ‘single table’ is 14. Yes I’m being relegated to the kids’ table. My abject humiliation is now complete.
Plus the only person that I really know at the wedding is the bride. And she might be a bit too busy to have a catch up. Don’t think babysitting the broken hearted, seating plan wrecker, is on her agenda for some reason.
On the plus side, I just have a horrifically expensive hotel room to pay for, train tickets to procure, and a non ironic thoughtful wedding present to buy.
Big love Evie XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX