Sooo…..the rules of Valentine’s day. A day loaded with ritual, expectation, disappointment, and over priced floral arrangements. I suppose sometimes rules need to be broken. But first here are some of my Valentine’s observations….
If in a
happy/pretending to be happy relationship;
- Enjoy a joyous, mid week, tres expensive, 3 course set dinner, dans le romantic restaurant.
- Try to look as wonderfully in love as the couple to the left of you. And to the right of you. And in front of you. Although the couple behind you are making you giggle, because you think they’ve had a row.
- Notice the food is below par but refuse to complain in case you spoil the mood.
- Drink pink fizzy wine. (Ok so most ladies I know love this stuff. But some guys would be happier with a beer, or a nice glass of full bodied red. Here’s a tip fellas. If your lady likes the pink fizz. Let her have the whole bottle to herself. Get yourself a beer and get lucky.)
- Swap dubious cards. Either too cute, or too gushy, or just too pink. I’m not being sour about the sentiment. (Well maybe a little!) But some of those cards should come with a government health warning for high sugar content. (*Disclaimer* I would like to point out that I reserve all rights to completely cherish any ridiculously sentimental cards I ever receive from someone I actually like.)
If not in a relationship;
Check to see what your Ex is doing on Facebook for ValentinesAargh. Nope. I’m over that one. Honest.
- Rent a film guaranteed to make you cry. Why? It’s a form of masochism. What part of your brain goes “Ok, today I might be slightly emotionally needy I’ll watch The Notebook.” Awesome work brain, awesome.
- Eat so much chocolate that you decide you need Overeaters Anonymous.
- Drink so much wine that you decide you need Alcoholics Anonymous.
- In a booze and sugar intoxicated state decide that a self help group might be a great place to meet a nice guy.
- Realise that you don’t have a nice guy. And will probably never ever meet one. Even a drunk obese nice guy, who requires extensive therapy.
- And watch the Notebook again.
Ok, so I can see a storm is brewing. So rather than weather the single cry fest alone I’ve organised a dinner party for friends. There’s strength in numbers, self pity seems to thrive on solitude. I think it eats it.
It’s my first dinner party since my break up so I’ve just got two friends coming over. Didn’t want to over challenge myself. Besides my other friends appear to be busy on the 14th.
(Ok so I’m ordering in Dominos pizza but the sentiment is the same. Besides I’ll hand out plates and napkins so it’s partially civilised.)
PS Any suggestions for films to watch would be greatly appreciated. Although am on a weepy free film diet on Thurs. Action, Sci Fi, or Horror only. (Am avoiding comedy as well as romance. Comedies always seem to have a love story in there somewhere!)