I went on my blind date at the weekend. And it’s official. I have forgotten how to interact with human beings of the male variety.
But I’m sure I can learn. I just need to produce my own manual on the appropriate etiquette. And learn some basic social skills. And eventually….. I’ll succeed in not looking like an absolute divvy when I’m out in public with a guy.
I wouldn’t mind, but I didn’t even fancy him. This is what I have learnt so far…..
- DON’T APPROACH THE FIRST LONELY LOOKING GUY STOOD AT THE BAR – It is possible he’s not your date. It’s also possible his girlfriend is going to come back from the ladies and give you death stares for the rest of the evening.
- TRY TO OBTAIN A RECENT PHOTO PRIOR TO THE DATE – See tip number one. Plus, if all you have seen is a rather tiny, out of date photo, you can’t help but be disappointed when he turns up with no hair.
- THINK OF CONVERSATION TOPICS IN ADVANCE – Saying err and erm a lot does not constitute stimulating conversation. Neither does tapping your fingers on the table and humming along to the background music.
- DON’T GET DRUNK TO EASE CONVERSATION – You just end up over sharing, then slurring, then finding yourself way too amusing. Not particularly attractive Evie.
- DON’T DISCUSS YOUR EX.
- OR HIS EX.
- OR POLITICS.
- OR THE KARDASHIANS. (That really didn’t go down too well.)
- DO SHOW AN ACTIVE INTEREST IN HIS HOBBIES – Just don’t suggest joining his tennis club on the first date. It’s not polite. It just makes you look like a stalker.
- DO ENSURE SOMEONE KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE – It’s important, for safety, that friends or family are informed of your date. But when they turn up and wave at you through the window it is perfectly acceptable to pretend you do not know who they are. Even if they are shouting your name and wolf whistling.
I doubt that the blind date guy and myself will be eloping to Vegas any time soon. But at least I didn’t cancel. And at least he didn’t cancel. And neither of us went to the toilets mid date and did a runner. Which are all great positives. Onwards and upwards! And I haven’t checked my Ex’s Facebook page for a whole week. Result! If you have any dating tips please share. I think I’m going to need all the advice I can get.