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Checkmate to Mother on this occasion me thinks. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Does everyone have fun with their family? I don’t mean the go-karting, ski-ing, board game, variety. I mean the mess with your head, make you wonder if they even like you variety. I know my Mother means well….but….seriously…

This is pretty much how I remember it….

SCENE: MUM’S KITCHEN – EVENING

MUM:      Ahhh…

ME:           Huh?

MUM:      Ahhh…

ME:           Are you meditating?  

MUM:      I was just thinking how lovely it would be if someone liked you.

ME: (smiling)      You like me! Plenty of people like me.

MUM:      I have to like you, you’re my daughter….. No I mean it’d be nice if you had a man to look after you.

ME: (frowning)   I’m not sure I need looking after. I’m not a gerbil.

MUM:      It just worries me that no one wants to be with you.

ME:          Hang on…. where does the “no one” bit come from? Last time I checked I’d hardly been auditioning.

MUM:     That’s the problem with your generation. Too picky.

ME:          I’m not picky…Richard split up with me.

MUM:     I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about you by this age.

ME:          What’s wrong with my age?

MUM (sad face):  Ahhhh…..

ME:          But you hated Richard!

MUM:     Yes but if he was the best you were going to get then I think I miss him. Besides he was very good at fixing my car.

ME:         (Jaw dropping silence)

MUM:    Don’t stand there with your mouth open Evie. You’ll catch flies.

I tried to conjure up some feminist independent statement. But my Mum distracted me with a piece of carrot cake, so we left the conversation as it was. MUM 1 v EVIE 0.

On the plus side I’ve realised that all I need to do to keep my Mother happy is to date a mechanic. Simple!

Feel free to share any epic bits of family advice/criticism that’s been bestowed/forced your way!

Big Love,

Evie

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