Does everyone have fun with their family? I don’t mean the go-karting, ski-ing, board game, variety. I mean the mess with your head, make you wonder if they even like you variety. I know my Mother means well….but….seriously…
This is pretty much how I remember it….
SCENE: MUM’S KITCHEN – EVENING
ME: Are you meditating?
MUM: I was just thinking how lovely it would be if someone liked you.
ME: (smiling) You like me! Plenty of people like me.
MUM: I have to like you, you’re my daughter….. No I mean it’d be nice if you had a man to look after you.
ME: (frowning) I’m not sure I need looking after. I’m not a gerbil.
MUM: It just worries me that no one wants to be with you.
ME: Hang on…. where does the “no one” bit come from? Last time I checked I’d hardly been auditioning.
MUM: That’s the problem with your generation. Too picky.
ME: I’m not picky…Richard split up with me.
MUM: I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about you by this age.
ME: What’s wrong with my age?
MUM (sad face): Ahhhh…..
ME: But you hated Richard!
MUM: Yes but if he was the best you were going to get then I think I miss him. Besides he was very good at fixing my car.
ME: (Jaw dropping silence)
MUM: Don’t stand there with your mouth open Evie. You’ll catch flies.
I tried to conjure up some feminist independent statement. But my Mum distracted me with a piece of carrot cake, so we left the conversation as it was. MUM 1 v EVIE 0.
On the plus side I’ve realised that all I need to do to keep my Mother happy is to date a mechanic. Simple!
Feel free to share any epic bits of family advice/criticism that’s been bestowed/forced your way!