So…two months ago I joined an online dating site to “improve my social life”. (OK, find a nice man – oh OK, a hot man who’ll make me laugh.)
It was a free site, and as I didn’t find anyone I clicked with…I joined another where you have to pay real life money to join. I figured if credit card statements were involved I may meet someone more invested in starting a relationship. With an increased likelihood of them actually being single.
So now I’m on two dating sites. (Hang on, does this make me an online floozy? OK don’t answer that.) And I’ve been recommended to join yet another! This one asks you to do a psychological questionnaire type whotsit to deduce that your ideal man is George Clooney. But then as George Clooney isn’t registered on “idealpartnerforyou.com” or whatever it’s called, then they deduce that Barry from Leeds is your perfect soulmate. Apparently it’s foolproof. So now I’m considering revealing my credit card details yet again. Is it possible to be addicted to looking for love online? If so, will someone please confiscate my router?
To date, my foray into the world of techno arranged romance has produced the following results:
- 40+ (approx, but hey who’s counting) hours of dating site window shopping. This bit is a lot more fun than I thought! Also more time intensive. Yet slightly frustrating when your “friend” logs onto your site and starts emailing people on your behalf. Gemma has an appreciation for the male topless selfie. I do not.
- 36 x emails from potential suitors.
- 1 x email including a massively *ahem* inappropriate photo.
- 19 x emails from potential suitors which didn’t scream “One night stand only/Definitely married/Potential psycho/Wears socks with sandals”.
- 5 x exchanges of telephone numbers.
- 5 x actual dates with real life human men!
- 4 x actual dates with real life human men who looked like their photo.
- 2 x actual dates with real life human men who hadn’t lied massively about either their job or relationship status. (No, being unemployed does not make you an entrepreneur, although full props for the creative self marketing. And, no, just because you’re currently sleeping in the spare room of your family home – wife and three kids- does not make you single)
- 1 x date who told me he had to leave as he was meeting another girl for coffee in half an hours time.
- 1 x really great guy who made me laugh.
- 1 x great guy who didn’t call again.
Sooo, 80 days into my project and I still haven’t met the Yin to my Yang. But *whisper it and don’t tell anyone* this is actually good fun! And it has to be better than my Mum trying to set me up with the nice guy who works behind the counter at the local Co-op. Hi Mum if your reading, I’ve met Neil at the Co-op, and he’s lovely, but not my type.
Will keep you posted. Although if I do meet the love of my life then I’m taking an Ad out in the Daily Mail.